The death of Amy Winehouse. Why it isn’t a waste and it isn’t a shame.

 The death of Amy Winehouse.  Why it isn’t a waste and it isn’t a shame.

Delayed reaction, I know, but it’s a week since Amy Winehouse was found dead in her flat and there is one particular thing that has been playing on my mind. That is the way that most of what I read refers to the end of her life as a ‘waste’ and a ‘shame’.

Now I know that most see this is respectful – as acknowledging that this ‘shouldn’t’ have happened, that she was ‘too young’, and ‘had so much more to do’ – but, not unusually, my view is very different.

I find the description of her death as a waste quite disrespectful actually.  In saying that it’s a waste we are saying she should have done more, that she didn’t have time to make enough of a difference, that she didn’t live enough or give enough.  Now, how is that the best way way to be honoured and remembered? For all that you didn’t (and will never) do.

The reality is that she is gone. She will not have the opportunity to make more music, do more tours, and inspire more people with beautiful new lyrical creations.  Everything she was ever going to do (at least as ‘Amy Winehouse’) she has done. To spend the rest of forever saying that there should have been more is to ignore the facts, and to disregard all that she did do.

Her life was 27 years of good times, bad times, love, beauty, pain, challenge, and inspiration. Instead of mourning all the years she didn’t get, that she will never get, honour her by seeing what an impact she had in that time, the amazing things she achieved, the people she loved, and the world she inspired.  The world she continues to inspire.

Nothing about her was a ‘waste’.  Is that how you would want to be remembered if your life ended suddenly tomorrow?  For everyone to focus on all the stuff you didn’t do? Remember her and honour her…….. for all that she did, all that she was, and all that she gave.

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.” -Unknown.

Do we really want to be measuring life by days?  Is the number of years you live really any indicator of how you have lived and what you have given back?  It isn’t about just ticking off the days in the diary so that you know you had a full life.   And Amy Winehouse provided plenty of moments to take the world’s breath away.

And I’m sure you know I’m not just talking about Amy Winehouse.  Not everyone gets 90 years. Not everyone gets 1 day. Not everyone is meant to.  But everyone makes a difference in the time they have.  Everyone.

As always if you have anything to say, share, ask…please go ahead and comment below.




About Kristie West

I'm a Grief Specialist and I help adults who have lost a parent. I am known for positively changing people's experience of the loss of a parent in less than 4 hours.
Gallery | This entry was posted in Talking about death, Uncategorized, World events and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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